Dirty Library: Twisted Children's Classics and Folked-Up - download pdf or read online

By Mary Dauterman, Peter Antosh

Dirty Library is an illustrated humor ebook for adults that reimagines forty five vintage children's e-book covers, giving them a delightfully twisted, raunchy, and hilarious new spin, plus enjoyable illustrations, charts, and again covers, man-on-the-street reviews, readers' publications, interviews, and masses more.
Parodies of well known children's books contain Green Eggs and Hammered, The Very sexy Caterpillar, Where the women long gone Wild issues Are, Are You My child Daddy?, and plenty of more.

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Additional info for Dirty Library: Twisted Children's Classics and Folked-Up Fairy Tales

Sample text

Teach him how to fish, and he will sit about in a boat and guzzle beer all day. (Anon) 55 If alcohol is a crutch, then whiskey is the wheelchair. (Anon) It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for. (Irish) One drink is enough, two drinks are too many, three drinks are not enough. (Portuguese) The wine is sweet but the payment sour. (Irish) 56 The church is close but the road is icy; the bar is far but I’ll walk carefully. (Russian) The drunken man’s joy is usually the sober man’s regret. (Danish) P The drunken mouth lets slip the heart’s secrets.

Anon) 29 Sometimes you are the insect; sometimes you are the windscreen. (Anon) Strategy is better than strength. (Nigeria) Stretch your hands as far as they reach, and grab all you can grab. (Nigeria) The eyes believe what they see; the ears what people tell them. (German) 30 u Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel really is an oncoming train. (Anon) 31 ˇ Sometimes you’re the pigeon, sometimes you’re the statue. (Anon) 32 The journey of a thousand miles starts with a broken fan belt. (Anon) There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.

Anon) 38 Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggie”, whilst looking for a bigger stick. (Anon) Doctors clean the body, ministers the conscience, and lawyers the purse. (German) He that loves the law will get his fill of it. (Scottish) 39 í A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and have you actually looking forward to the trip. (Anon) 40 It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law. (Chinese) It is better to exist unknown to the law and lawyers. (Irish) Lawyers and painters can soon change black to white.

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