Letters from a Nut by Ted L. Nancy PDF

By Ted L. Nancy

Who's Ted L. Nancy?
He's a involved resort visitor trying to find a misplaced tooth...

He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who desires to gamble at a on line casino in his fortunate shrimp outfit...

He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"...

He's a tough dramatist looking an viewers for his play approximately his 26-year-old puppy, Cinnamon...

He's the proud proprietor of Charles, a 36-year-old cat who owes his sturdiness to a dog food company...

He's a faithful fan of the King of Tonga...

He is, in truth, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter modify ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and gets strangely earnest responses again from) company honchos, leisure conglomerates, nationwide courses, politicians, celebrities and heads of nation to every person, actually, from the president of the Bon Ami cleaner corporation to U.S. vice chairman Al Gore.

Letters From A Nut is an insanely encouraged, actually madcap selection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of reliable -- and formally certifiable -- requests, lawsuits, fan mail and questions which can no longer potentially were taken seriously...but, amazingly, were!

Dear Mr. Nancy:"It isn't frequently that we obtain such enthusiastic help for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council

"On behalf of Greyhound, there will be no challenge touring whereas on your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines

"I look ahead to operating with you to create a greater destiny for this nice nation." -- vp Al Gore

"An endless flow of a few of the main hilarious exchanges I've ever learn. everybody I lent this booklet to only learn it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so uncomplicated, but completely creative. I'm certain a few type of mail fraud fees might be dropped at cease this guy yet, for my part, i am hoping they by no means trap him." --Jerry Seinfeld

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Example text

Moorpark Road Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 Dear Mr. Nancy: It was very thoughtful of you to take the time to offer your ideas regarding SNICKERS* Bar. At MSM/MARS, we have an extensive Research and Development staff whose sole responsibility is to design, develop and refine product ideas. Sometimes this process can take years before a finished product can be marketed. To avoid confusion of ownership, we must refuse the thousands of suggestions we receive every year. Although we appreciate your interest, we hope you will understand our business position.

I can understand you came up with this name first. " Whenever I have passed the "Whiskey Pete's" sign I have always enjoyed viewing it. Whoever came up with that name hit a bingo. " (I had thought about putting an "e" in "Whisky" but decided against it). As far as I am concerned "Whisky Pats" is no more, finis, the end. "Whiskey Pete's" can have full use of the area for their sign blinking. " Our business will not in anyway interfere with yours. While you have gambling, buffets and entertainment, ours will have SOME food but not buffet style; you pay for everything ala carte.

I am very sorry that I have wasted your time with this hamburger idea. I can honestly tell you that I will not bother you any more, Excalibur. You are a favorite hotel of mine and I enjoy visiting there. (And eating toot) I now realize my ideas for hotel products is a foolish one. Although I do have interest in the Maxim Pads, but not from the hotel. Those things would sell! Please accept this as my deepest apologies for wasting your time with my previous letter. I am truly sorry. With All The Respect I Have, Ted L.

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